You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to his problems. You do all this because you think he wants to be your friend.
But…
This is incredible in every way.
The social media philosophy of a major American chain, according to a PowerPoint I saw on an employee’s laptop on a flight yesterday. (via megangreenwell)
OHMYGOD.
(via annfriedman)
(via annfriedman)
“So I was thinking.”
“Great, evolution.”
“Nobody really needs eyeballs and limbs and all that, right? When you get down to it, all you really need to be alive is an opening for stuff to go in and an opening for stuff to come out.”
“Well, yeah, I guess so.”
“I might try making things that way for a few million years. ‘Sea cucumbers’ and the like.”
“Okay, but it’s not just going to be, like, a tube with a mouth and an anus, is it? That sounds a little crass.”
“What if I made it pink?”
“I don’t know…”
“Oh, and also, it’s going to breathe through the butt end.”



